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Gjhgkjhchkjhvbkj…More gibberish, this time from the Daily Mail

Posted by Axegrinder on 15 June 2010 at 06:10
Tags: Daily Mail, sub-editors

First a stretched Johnston Press weekly publishes dummy copy on its front page, then dummy copy appears in a Financial Times leader column and now this from the Daily Mail sports section yesterday.

What is going on? Axegrinder can only surmise that the nation’s sub editors have begun a silent revolt. “Replace us with machines will you? Well see how well your papers sell without headlines.”

Either that, or perhaps the content management systems are trying to hasten the demise of sub-editors by sabotaging headlines after they have gone to press? Or perhaps we are witnessing the rise of the machines as they seek to undermine humankind by depriving us of the witty and clever newspaper headlines which make our daily lives bearable?

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Axegrinder: Boris Johnson likens Paul Dacre to the Boston Strangler and PCC to tapioca

Posted by Axegrinder on 11 June 2010 at 08:18
Tags: Daily Mail

London mayor and Daily Telegraph columnist Boris Johnson likened Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre to the Boston Stangler when he delivered a typically tongue-in-cheek speech at the University of Westminster on Wednesday night.

Johnson, who Axegrinder suspects won’t be swapping his Telegraph column for a Daily Mail one any time soon, said: “They [the Press] are regulated by a Press Complaints Commission whose luminaries include the editor of the Daily Mail. I’m sure that he is a fine fellow in many ways but I think it’s a bit like putting the regulation of door-to-door salesmen in the hands of Boston Strangler.”

Dacre, is not - it must be said - widely known for his sense humour, but Johnston added: “I’m sure he’ll take that remark in the spirit it was made.”

Asked in a later Q&A session if he thought the PCC needed strengthening, Johnson said that he had no idea. “I doubt it very much…you might as well strengthen tapioca,” he added.

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If this is the “best subbing operation in the business”…

Posted by Axegrinder on 6 August 2009 at 19:10
Tags: Daily Mail

Last week, the Daily Mail advertised for news subs to “join the best subbing operation in the business”. Judging by Thursday’s paper, perhaps the Mail really does need an injection of new talent.

The paper reports that the two British backpackers accused of faking a robbery in Brazil are “both 23″ and “graduated from Sussex University in 1997″. When they were both aged 11, presumably.

The Brazilian judiciary should prove a pushover for such talented legal brains.

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Waterhouse urges BBC to lift ban on Biggs movie

Posted by Axegrinder on 14 May 2009 at 21:49
Tags: Anthony Delano, Colin Mackenzie, Daily Mail, Ephraim Hardcastle, Keith Waterhouse

Keith Waterhouse has joined the campaign — first reported here ten months ago — to persuade the BBC to lift its ban on re-broadcasting what many believe to be the best film ever made about British journalists.

According to Ephraim Hardcastle in Thursday’s Daily Mail, Waterhouse thinks the time is right to dust off and show again The Great Paper Chase.

Based on Anthony Delano’s book Slip-Up, it tells the story of how Daily Express journalist Colin Mackenzie tracked down great train robber Ronnie Biggs in Rio de Janeiro, how his paper lost the scoop, and how Scotland Yard detective Jack Slipper then failed to bring Biggs to justice.

Waterhouse, who provided the screenplay for the 1988 TV movie, told Hardcastle: “With Slipper now dead and Ronnie due out in the summer it would be good if the BBC were to show it again.”

Last August, Axegrinder reported that producer Graham Benson was urging the Beeb to lift its ban.

It’s probably just as well Hardcastle didn’t ask his former Mail colleague Colin Mackenzie for his views. “The film made me out to be a complete twit,” he told Axegrinder recently.

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‘Winning Grand National would be right up there with finding Ronnie Biggs’

Posted by Axegrinder on 3 April 2009 at 11:10
Tags: Colin Mackenzie, Daily Express, Daily Mail, Ronnie Biggs

Colin Mackenzie’s main claim to fame has always been that he was the reporter who found on-the-run Great Train Robber Ronnie Biggs in Brazil in 1974 but on Saturday that achievement might be eclipsed if he becomes the first journalist to own the winner of the Grand National.

And the horse in question could not be more aptly named – Fleet Street.

Speaking on Friday morning as he drove up to Liverpool for the big race, Mackenzie was not exactly exuding confidence.

He told Axegrinder: “You’d have to say that victory is fairly unlikely. After all, he’s 100-1 with the bookmakers.

“He’s been a very good horse indeed but has suffered from injuries and illness. He was bought in Germany by Henry Ponsonby, where he had won three times, and he was already named Fleet Street, which appealed to me. I own one-twelfth of the horse but I’m the only journalist among the owners.

“He did well over hurdles in 2004, finishing third in big races at Cheltenham and Aintree, but then he got the equine equivalent of MRSA and nearly died five times. So he had 18 months off, came back and then immediately got injured again and needed another long break.

“He’s now recovered and he won well over fences at Kempton around Christmas time.”

How would winning the Grand National compare with finding Biggs and gaining that massive scoop all those years ago.

“Oh, it would be right up there. Finding Biggs gave me a huge adrenalin rush. But those days are long gone.”

Indeed, he is not among those urging the BBC to rebroadcast the 1988 film based on Antony Delano’s book Slip-Up, about Mackenzie’s discovery of Biggs in Brazil, how the Daily Express then lost their exclusive and how Inspector Jack Slipper of Scotland Yard failed to bring Biggs back to Blighty.

“The film made me out to be a complete twit and was highly libellous of Jack Slipper. I don’t think it will ever be shown again.”

Last year’s Grand National was an important occasion for Mackenzie – it was his last day as senior racing correspondent of the Daily Mail before beginning his retirement. Despite that, he is continuing to freelance and even on a recent three-month tour of New Zealand, Malaysia and India with wife Linda (“a couple of Saga louts”) he couldn’t resist penning 25,000 words for a blog.

Back to the horses and, reading between the lines, Axegrinder got the impression Mackenzie has much brighter hopes this summer for a horse he owns called the Betchworth Kid. “He won three times last season and ended the year finishing second in the November Handicap. He’s won us about £70,000 in prize money so far.

“He’ll be targeted at the big staying races this year but he needs soft ground. He’s due to run at Nottingham next Wednesday.”

Mackenzie was nicknamed the Betchworth Kid when he started out on the Daily Express. Colleagues spotted that he was always rushing out to the betting shop and, as he’d been brought up in Betchworth and the Cincinnati Kid was the hit movie at the time, it seemed a suitable monicker.

Back to Saturday’s big race at Aintree, what would he say to all those hacks around the country considering putting a few quid on Fleet Street just because of the name?

“My advice would be keep your money in your pocket. But then again, I’ve had a modest bet on the horse at 280-1 with Betfair.”

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Backing a loser before the racing begins at Cheltenham

Posted by Axegrinder on 10 March 2009 at 12:44
Tags: Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, The Sun

dailymail by you.

 

With the Cheltenham Festival coming under starter’s orders this afternoon, today’s national papers are trying to attract punting readers with apparently attractive “free bets”.

But beware – buy the wrong paper and it might prove to be your first loser of the day.

The Daily Mail’s front page screams “FREE £6 BET FOR EVERY READER”. That looks by far the best offer available from any paper today. But please note the “EVERY READER” bit.

Turn to page 48 of the Mail, however, and, in the small print explaining terms and conditions, one finds that the free offer applies to “New Ladbrokes customers only”.

So if, like Axegrinder, you already have an account with Ladbrokes (and more than two million people worldwide do have an online account with them), the £6 free bet is not available to you, even though you are a “READER”.

Meanwhile, the Daily Star’s front page boasts a “FREE £2 BET” offer, but in order to qualify for your free bet you must first place a bet of £2 or more.

There are some no-catch offers available: Mirror readers can take their coupon to any Wllliam Hill office and have a free £2 bet, while Sun readers can do similar at Labrokes for a free £1 bet.

 

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Calm down dear – it’s just Ephraim Hardcastle’s winning way with words

Posted by Axegrinder on 9 January 2009 at 12:39
Tags: Daily Mail, Ephraim Hardcastle, Michael Winner

In Friday’s Daily Mail, the rather wonderful Ephraim Hardcastle introduced Axegrinder to an entirely new concept: the former ex-girlfriend.

Ephraim asked: “Who are the women prancing behind Michael Winner in the new TV ads for esure? They’re Vanessa Perry and Lorraine Doyle, former ex-girlfriends of the boulevardier.”

So does the phrase “former ex-girlfriends” mean they have both now rekindled their passion for the Death Wish director?

Or does the “former” refer to their gender? No, it can’t be that.

Perhaps Ephraim will explain all in his next column. 

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Exclusive: Ben Dover is Daily Mail reader

Posted by Axegrinder on 8 January 2009 at 13:21
Tags: BBC News Channel, Ben Dover, Daily Mail, Jane Hill, Matthew Amroliwala

Axegrinder experienced a rare jaw-dropping moment this lunchtime when watching the BBC News Channel. In a rather surreal encounter, “gonzo” porn film-maker Ben Dover was interviewed live by Jane Hill and Matthew Amroliwala.

Wearing a fetching black t-shirt advertising the Ben Dover Porn Academy and emblazoned with the silhouette of a naked porn star, Mr Dover was asked by the BBC presenters for his reaction to news that the US porn industry was asking Washington for a $5billion bailout.

Jane Hill put it to him that it was unlikely any government would come to the rescue of the ailing British porn industry. “Imagine what the Daily Mail would say about that?” commented Hill. Dover agreed with this point, adding with a hint of sadness, “I’m a Daily Mail reader myself.”

A touching endorsement, which will surely bring a smile to the face of Paul Dacre.

Before ending the interview, Dover managed to slip in a couple of cheeky, nudge-nudge, wink-wink lines.

On his decision to diversify away from DVDs and into toys and t-shirts as more people sourced their porn for free via the internet: “A couple of years ago I saw it coming…”

On the economic problems facing film-makers: “One could say the adult industry is on its knees… it’s making it very hard for us”

Sex toys and double entendres. It’s what Lord Reith would have wanted from a rolling news channel.

UPDATE: A clip from the interview can now be viewed at the BBC News website.

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Ephraim Hardcastle’s soft spot for ‘Jimmy Krankie’ historian Ferguson

Posted by Axegrinder on 26 November 2008 at 11:57
Tags: AA Gill, Daily Mail, Ephraim Hardcastle, Niall Ferguson, Peter McKay, Sinclair McKay, Sue Douglas

The Daily Mail’s Ephraim Hardcastle is puzzled by TV critic AA Gill’s attack on the new Channel 4 series, The Ascent of Money.

Written and presented by Niall Ferguson, it is, says Gill, “a GCSE-class project” while “wee” Ferguson is “academe’s answer to Jimmy Krankie”. 

Why, wonders Hardcastle, is Gill so rude about the “brilliant Scots academic and Harvard historian” and his “impressive TV series”?

Axegrinder isn’t surprised that Hardcastle (aka Peter McKay) feels unable to stick the boot into Ferguson.

Some years ago McKay’s son Sinclair, setting out on his journalistic career after leaving university, was given regular shifts on the features desk of the Daily Mail by Sue Douglas.

Douglas – who later went on to edit the Sunday Express – is married to Niall Ferguson.

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Wonder why Woolies is filling Jane Moore’s column?

Posted by Axegrinder on 26 November 2008 at 01:17
Tags: Catherine Ostler, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, Daily Telegraph, Evening Standard, Gary Farrow, Gordon Ramsay, Jane Moore, Liz Hunt, Sue Carroll, Tana Ramsay, The Independent, The Sun, Virginia Ironside

As expected, Fleet Street’s women columnists have leapt on the Gordon Ramsay ’scandal’ like a pack of vicious, sharp-tongued hyenas. 

Leading the assault in recent days have been Allison Pearson in the Daily Mail (“As his monumental hypocrisy was revealed, the 42-year-old Celebrity Father of the Year could at least have shown some embarrassment, even a little shame”); Sue Carroll in the Daily Mirror (“Any man who doesn’t understand that a secret lover, left to simmer unattended, will one day finally explode like a toxic stew can only be described as totally naive or completely arrogant”); Liz Hunt in the Daily Telegraph (“If Gordon has strayed … then I hope, in private, that pots are being hurled, that a few kitchen knives have found their way out of the block, and the F-word is issuing from Tana’s mouth rather than his”); Catherine Ostler in the Evening Standard (“Somewhere in this sorry saga is a victim, but who? Surely it’s Tana Ramsay”) and Virginia Ironside in The Independent (“He’s been a complete wally, and no one would blame Tana for giving a bollocking rather more fiery than he would deliver in one of his restaurants”).

Meanwhile, over at The Sun,  Jane Moore wrote in her column on Tuesday: “My local Woolworths has just closed down and now the entire chain is on sale for £1.”

Er, quite.

As readers of Axegrinder on Monday will know, Gordon Ramsay’s press spokesman is Gary Farrow, head of The Corporation PR agency. Farrow is also married to Jane Moore.

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