Backing a loser before the racing begins at Cheltenham

Posted by Axegrinder on 10 March 2009 at 12:44
Tags: Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, The Sun

With the Cheltenham Festival coming under starter’s orders this afternoon, today’s national papers are trying to attract punting readers with apparently attractive “free bets”.

But beware – buy the wrong paper and it might prove to be your first loser of the day.

The Daily Mail’s front page screams “FREE £6 BET FOR EVERY READER”. That looks by far the best offer available from any paper today. But please note the “EVERY READER” bit.

Turn to page 48 of the Mail, however, and, in the small print explaining terms and conditions, one finds that the free offer applies to “New Ladbrokes customers only”.

So if, like Axegrinder, you already have an account with Ladbrokes (and more than two million people worldwide do have an online account with them), the £6 free bet is not available to you, even though you are a “READER”.

Meanwhile, the Daily Star’s front page boasts a “FREE £2 BET” offer, but in order to qualify for your free bet you must first place a bet of £2 or more.

There are some no-catch offers available: Mirror readers can take their coupon to any Wllliam Hill office and have a free £2 bet, while Sun readers can do similar at Labrokes for a free £1 bet.

Wonder why Woolies is filling Jane Moore’s column?

Posted by Axegrinder on 26 November 2008 at 01:17
Tags: Catherine Ostler, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, Daily Telegraph, Evening Standard, Gary Farrow, Gordon Ramsay, Jane Moore, Liz Hunt, Sue Carroll, Tana Ramsay, The Independent, The Sun, Virginia Ironside

As expected, Fleet Street’s women columnists have leapt on the Gordon Ramsay ’scandal’ like a pack of vicious, sharp-tongued hyenas. 

Leading the assault in recent days have been Allison Pearson in the Daily Mail (“As his monumental hypocrisy was revealed, the 42-year-old Celebrity Father of the Year could at least have shown some embarrassment, even a little shame”); Sue Carroll in the Daily Mirror (“Any man who doesn’t understand that a secret lover, left to simmer unattended, will one day finally explode like a toxic stew can only be described as totally naive or completely arrogant”); Liz Hunt in the Daily Telegraph (“If Gordon has strayed … then I hope, in private, that pots are being hurled, that a few kitchen knives have found their way out of the block, and the F-word is issuing from Tana’s mouth rather than his”); Catherine Ostler in the Evening Standard (“Somewhere in this sorry saga is a victim, but who? Surely it’s Tana Ramsay”) and Virginia Ironside in The Independent (“He’s been a complete wally, and no one would blame Tana for giving a bollocking rather more fiery than he would deliver in one of his restaurants”).

Meanwhile, over at The Sun,  Jane Moore wrote in her column on Tuesday: “My local Woolworths has just closed down and now the entire chain is on sale for £1.”

Er, quite.

As readers of Axegrinder on Monday will know, Gordon Ramsay’s press spokesman is Gary Farrow, head of The Corporation PR agency. Farrow is also married to Jane Moore.

Piers puts snout in corporate trough

Posted by Axegrinder on 23 October 2008 at 12:45
Tags: Daily Mirror, Grey Cardigan, M&S, Marco Pierre White, Piers Morgan

What with his enormous earnings from being a judge on crappy TV talent shows, his M&S steak advert, his BBC series on celebrities and his Mail on Sunday columns, not to mention his near £2million pay-off from the Mirror, surely Piers Morgan can afford to buy his own dinner?

Perhaps he simply prefers to let others pay for him. A corporate hospitality firm is currently offering punters the chance to pay £225 (plus VAT) per person to have dinner with Morgan at a London restaurant, with the meal cooked by Marco Pierre White.

After enjoying a three-course gourmet meal, “Marco and Piers will then answer questions during a session of live and intoxicating chat”.

Rather like a flyer for a dodgy Soho club, the advert speaks worryingly of “guaranteed 60 mins live and uncut entertainment”.

One wonders if this means Morgan will strip and perform a personal lap dance or even gyrate around a pole. Probably not. But one cannot be sure.

Given Morgan’s expanding waistline and enormous appetite, it is fitting that the company organising the event is based in Pudding Lane, Maidstone.

Axegrinder believes his colleague the Grey Cardigan may be interested in attending. Still owed “two grand” by the one-time Press Gazette co-owner, he would be sure to enliven the Q&A session.