This press release has just landed in Axegrinder’s in-box from the University of York and really needs no further parody. Any further festive contributions are welcome:

The University of York, City of York Council chiefs and representatives from Safer York Partnership have joined forces to tackle alcohol related disorder in York.

Key figures from each of the organisations got together for an ‘ideas sandpit’ to develop innovative solutions to the issues associated with alcohol disorder. The ideas sandpit – essentially a brain storming exercise – was led by Professor Kiran Fernandes, of the University’s York Management School, who was part of a team that modelled gun crime in Manchester and tested approaches that could be used by police to significantly reduce the number of incidents.

Professor Fernandes said: “The goal of the ideas sandpit was to bring this highly diverse team of stakeholders together to develop models that can be used to handle alcohol-related disorder in York. The ideas sandpit has improved understanding of the issue between social scientists, crime analysis and operational policing.”

Participants heard first hand from local residents the impact that alcohol related disorder was having on their lives and on their local communities, before discussing what could be done to improve the situation by all the agencies involved.

Tracey Carter, Assistant Director, City of York Council, said: “It was really moving to hear how much this issue is impacting people’s lives. But by working together, we did come up with some potential solutions, which I hope we will be able to develop and implement over the coming months.”

The outcomes and ideas from the session will be evaluated and developed before being rolled out to key areas across the city.

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So Axegrinder was dismayed to see former News of the World editor Phil Hall make the verbal equivalent of a Lebedev-style assault on media commentator Roy Greenslade after being asked what seemed like a fairly reasonable question by him at the Leveson Inquiry seminar yesterday.

Roy Greenslade: “No-one has addressed the business about pressure on the editor, Phil Hall didn’t tell us about how he came to depart from the News of the World.  I think it would be instructive if he were able to tell the inquiry how his editorial content was one the major causes of his being required by his proprietor to step down.”

Phil Hall: “Maybe first Roy can tell us how he fixed the Spot the Ball competition when he was editor of the Daily Mirror.”

Greenslade: “I’d like to sell as many books as possible, the full explanation is in my book: Maxwell’s Fall. It is the episode in journalism I absolutely feel terrible about.  On behalf  of my proprietor Robert Maxwell I fixed a game offering a million pounds to anyone who could spot the ball and ensured that no-one won. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea culpa. And now that I’ve told the truth will Phil?”

Hall: “The truth is that the proprietor and chairman of News International thought there was a more suitable editor of the News of the World than myself, it’s as simple as that. They chose Rebekah Wade ahead of me. They made their choices for whatever reasons, they were never explained to me. And it was as simple as that.”

Greenslade reckons there is more to the story than that, as he wrote on his blog this week. He said that Hall got his marching orders in 2000 because he defied Murdoch and published an expose revealing the crimes of Jeffrey Archer - who was then a Harper Collins author on the News Corp payroll.

Axegrinder knows that it as an old News of the World trick to wheel out the spot-the-ball story when confronted with criticism by Greenslade.

Of all the interesting and important stuff going on at the Leveson Inquiry yesterday, it’s also interesting that this exchange was deemed worthy of reporting to Sun readers under the headline: Journo prof - I faked Spot the Ball Competition.

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Speaking in the Last Chance Saloon Room of the QEII Conference centre in Westminster, PR man Hall said:

“In my experience there has been a benefit of the pressure to compete over fewer stories. To secure exclusive stories these days more than ever editors are allowing the subject of the interview to approve the account for publication. That does not mean they have control over the story, but it does mean they can challenge inaccuracies and ensure absolute probity.”

Erm…So that’s the solution then, let’s just let the people we write about have sign-off on what we publish.

Axegrinder was always under the impression that giving celebs copy-approval was tantamount to turning your newspaper into an extension of their publicity machine and a grave betrayal of hundreds of years of hard-fought press freedom. But I stand corrected.

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Fair enough, we all have to tighten our belts in this age of austerity. But journalists have apparently drawn the line at plans to build a stage so that ad staff can hold their weekly prize-giving.

Said Axegrinder’s mole at the Mercury: “Editorial have complained about this for a long time. They were often loud and disruptive when they were in their own department. It reached what we thought was a nadir when they started having these ceremonies in fancy dress. Now there is to be a stage.”

Apparently the issue of disrupting the phone calls of desk-bound journalists was raised at the Mercury’s regular Health and Safety meeting, as this memo reveals:

“The issue of the construction of a small stage area in advertising was raised. TP reported that the publisher was very keen for this to happen and that it will go ahead. On the specific issue of activity on the stage clashing with sensitive phone calls; these must be planned when making such outgoing calls so that they are not made when the stage is in use. The stage is not in constant use and will involve attendance by editorial staff on certain occasions. (Last month’s Brilliance winner was Dan Martin from editorial, for instance). If such a phone call was received the recipient should explain what is going on and offer to call them back.”

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Leaked email of the week comes from Canary Wharf, where tough trading conditions have led to the ending of free towels for Mirror staff. Here it is, complete with spelling mistakes:

Annoucement:  Gym – Canary Wharf

As you aware, in light of current trading conditions, the company are continuing to try and reduce its overall cost base.

As a result, effective from 1st August 2011, the following changes will take place: -

1. Gym Facility

The gym will be run as an unmanned facility, but the following arrangements will be put in place: -

a)      Only members of staff who have completed a formal gym induction will be allowed to use the facility.

b)      Access will be restricted by a new access control door or turnstile.

c)      Inductions and programmes will be available twice a week, either on a Tuesday or Thursday.  Further details will be available prior to the 1st August.

d)      The gym facility will remain open to staff between the hours of 7am-8pm Monday to Friday.

2. Shower Facility

Showers will remain fully accessible to all staff at all times and be separated from the gym area.

3. Towels

The provision of free towels will cease.

Axegrinder has been sent this hilarious press release sent out from North Yorkshire Police force’s answer to the Ministry of Truth.

Stop the presses, apparently crime has gone down in the county. Rejoice, you might think - until you get to the fifth par when you find out that crime has actually gone up. I’ve heard about dropped intros but this is ridiculous.

North Yorkshire Police is making great strides to clamp down on crime.

The force’s latest performance figures show a 6.6% reduction between April and June 2011 compared to the previous year.

This period - the first quarter of the current financial year - has seen 741 fewer crimes recorded than this time last year (10,401 against 11,150 crime). Detections have also increased by 3.7% to a total of 33.5%.

This significant impact is in direct response to a small but concerning increase in overall crime last year in North Yorkshire and the City of York.

Published today (Thursday 14 July 2011), the Home Office’s Annual Crime Statistics 2010/11 for England and Wales outlines a 0.6% increase in crime in the county. This equates to 267 more crimes in comparison to the previous year - from 42,196 to 42,464.

This increase was largely down to higher levels of crime in January, February and March 2011 compared to the previous year. North Yorkshire Police also saw a rise in reports of historical serious sexual offences which is a positive indicator in victim confidence in the police, as well as proactive police work to target drugs offences, most noticeably in Selby with the success of Operation Orate which saw a series of raids on cannabis farms and a 55% increase in offences in the district. In addition there were 137 separate fraud crimes committed by a company director from York.

However, the corresponding British Crime Survey figures that have also been released today are extremely positive for North Yorkshire Police, with only 6.4% of the public perceiving a high level of anti-social behaviour - the lowest level in England.

Public confidence in the force and local councils to tackle crime and anti-social behaviour has also increased by almost 6% over the past year, to a total of 55.9%.

The stand alone confidence measure in North Yorkshire Police has also increased to 61.5% from 57.9%.

Temporary Deputy Chief Constable Tim Madgwick said: “This was the first year-on-year rise in recorded overall crime since 2003/04, and whilst this is ultimately a disappointing position, it must be taken within context of a long term reduction which has seen 20,000 fewer offences committed in North Yorkshire and the City of York over the last six years.

“Despite the rise, it is important to emphasise that the North Yorkshire policing area remains the fourth safest and lowest crime area in England and Wales. The results of the British Crime Survey are also a welcome indication of the satisfaction people have in the service we deliver.”

Mr Madgwick added: “Nevertheless, we have taken some very firm action in response to the small spike in crime and I am very satisfied to report that it is now on a downward trend once more.

“A particular success has been our dedicated burglary reduction campaign Operation Haven, which is having a great impact on reducing offences and promoting key crime prevention messages to members of our communities.

“It is this type of proactive and intelligence-led policing activity, together with strong partnership working and engagement with the very people we serve, that will help to maintain the high quality of life in North Yorkshire and the City of York.”

Bill Baugh, Vice Chairman of North Yorkshire Police Authority, said: “The Authority looked at the full year’s data at its AGM in June and it was disappointing to see the slight rise at the end of the last financial year.  Crucially though, the more recent results have shown encouraging downward trends that we are more used to in recent years.

“We are not complacent though and in those more challenging crime categories, particularly burglaries, violence and theft, the Police Authority has requested further analysis of the issues and tactics to be presented at the next Performance and Scrutiny Board meeting at the end of August so that we can be sure that the service is doing all that it can, on its own and with partners, to sustain the good results seen in the last three months for the rest of the year.”

So Axegrinder was surprised to read this excerpt from an in interview he gave to the BBC in 2003 to promote the film Two Weeks Notice, which has just been brought to my attention:

Interviewer: How frustrating is it for you that people are more interested in your love life than your films?

Hugh Grant: I do get frustrated, but I understand where the instinct comes from. When I think about actors I know, I’d much rather hear about who they’re shagging than what film they’re doing next.

Sun TV correspondent Ally Ross made a similar point yesterday when he dug up a 1994 interview with Grant in GQ. Said Grant: “I love the News of the World and avidly read dirt on other people.”

As evidence, I cite this piece in The Independent from Monday about a jellybean resembling Kate Middleton which is being sold on Ebay.

Check out the url. Was it penned by whichever online news functionary was tasked with following up the story from the Telegraph in pursuit of a cheap traffic boost? Or is it the work of some outside prankster?

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/utter-PR-fiction-but-people-love-this-shit-so-fuck-it-lets-just-print-it-2269573.html

11.20am update: I see from comments below that - for reasons that are far beyond me - this fun url probably didn’t come from inside the Independent. Although it does come up when you do a search for ‘jelly bean’ on the Independent website. Any ho, it makes a good point.

Update#2: SEO specialist Malcolm Coles has explained more about all this. Apparently  you can change their urls to anything you want provided you keep in the “unique identifier number”.

His words appeared as a picture bylined article in the Viewspaper section of The Independent - an unusual place to find a MacKenzie byline.

It now turns out that MacKenzie hasn’t been freelancing for the Indy, but that the piece was in fact adapted from an interview with the former Sun editor carried out by student journalist Harriet Thurley which first appeared in City’s alumni magazine XCity.

This attribution, missing from the print version of the piece, now appears online.

Nice exclusive for Harriet. Shame on the Indy for denying her a byline and rather misleading its readers.

Ironic that a piece deriding journalism education should provide ample evidence of the need for such training.

Harriet has blogged about her encounter with MacKenzie here.